Control

Control:

We all want to be in control don’t we? Sometimes we think we are. 

I think one of the hardest things in life is relinquishing control. Or maybe it’s just hard for me.

I love the Lord so much, and I know Jesus has my best interest at heart and knows much better what I need than I do. Yet, I still fight to be in control. After I fail, I find myself asking, “How dumb can you be?”

I have been shown over and over—when I interfere with God’s plans—I mess it up. As beautiful as sheep are, they are described as very stupid, that is why they have to have a shepherd. Have you ever thought about how we are referred to as sheep? What does that tell you---well I won’t be abrasive and call us stupid…but…………let’s be honest, we are. We are all in desperate need of a shepherd.

If we would just get out of the way, God could move mountains, work miracles – and yes God could even work miracles through you. God will respect your decision if you choose to continue to want to hold the reigns—God is no bully. So the choice is ours.

Trust me, I’m not making light of any of this. Letting go isn’t always easy. Society saturates our minds with being in control. Learning to let go and let God is a process…or it has been for me. But I have always been a slow learner or stubborn to say the least.

So any decision you have to make, regardless of how big or how small—how about asking God what to do? If we do this every time, it will become second nature. 

Seek God in all you do!

Why Do We Do That

I try to do self-reflection regularly. I want God to search me and rid me of anything that is not of God.
As I sit here today, I realize I waste way too much energy on people who could care less about me and I waste way too much energy on situations I can't change.

There are people literally fighting for one more day, as I sit and waste this beautiful thing called life.
Let's face it, not everyone will love you the way you want them to...heck not everyone will even like you. Be the authentic you, if they don't like or appreciate that YOU, then maybe they aren't meant to be a part of your tribe.

I get a devotional called "Lead Like Jesus." My first inclination was to say I was so surprised that it went along with my thoughts today. But, in reality, I'm not surprised at all. God gives us what we need when we need it.

Allow me to share what the devotional said today:
"Many forces pull at us and try to distract us from what God has given us to do in life. Temptation and opposition are obvious ones, but others--well-meaning friends (and I will add--not so well-meaning friends), success, and popularity--can be just as distracting. Jesus was familiar with all of these. Consider how He responded to His disciples' well-intentioned but off-target suggestion. Time with the Father kept Him focused on His mission and purpose despite success and the good intentions of others. What distractions attempt to derail you? What helps you stay focused on God's direction and purpose for your life?"

The devotional talks about well-intentioned people. That wasn't so much my focus, but distractions--how we let things interfere with God's intentions for us. I have watched over my many years of life, God remove people from my life for my own good, or change my circumstances --I would grieve or be angry rather than grateful. We don't always see the blessing staring us in the face. Instead we chase things that God has removed. Where is our trust in God and God's will?

My prayer is to continue to grow closer to God...To appreciate what God is doing in my life (even if I don't like it in the moment)...I want to be in God's will. Let us pray everyday for God to search us. Let us pray everyday that we are in God's will. Let us pray everyday to KNOW God's voice.
If you don't spend time with someone, you may not be so quick to recognize them when they call. It applies to God. The more time you spend with God, the better you recognize God's voice.

And let's stop chasing what God has removed.

Self

I recently sat in on a group discussing communication. Communication really is hard. We all bring our “junk” to the table. Everyone who comes into our life comes for a reason—a lesson or blessin. Sometimes they can be both. The time with someone may be short or it could be years. 

Not everyone has depth that they show, not everyone wants to. There are some who are meant to fill the superficial friend role. Not everyone can or will be your best friend. 

Sometimes people are those who will be in the trenches with you and there are those who are fair weather friends. Not everyone can be painfully honest and not everyone can hear honesty.                

There are those who will use you; there are those who will nurture you. People are just who they are. It isn’t always easy to accept that. We expect people to be on the same level as us…heck we just have expectations. 

I think the lesson I have learned in life (and continue to learn and yes it’s usually the hard way) and the lesson I learned in the group was, just concentrate on you. Where do you need to heal? What changes do you need to make?

Remember the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..courage to change the things I can & wisdom to know the difference.”

A prayer we should ALL live by. Let’s face it, we can’t change others. We can only work on ourselves. 

I recall a song sung by Susan Ashton years ago “You Move Me.”

“This is how it seems to me…life is only therapy…real expensive and no guarantees….So I lie here on the couch with my heart hanging out frozen solid with fear ..like a rock in the ground

But You move me…You give me courage I didn’t know I had..You move me…I can’t go with You and stay where I am so You move me.

Here is how love was to me..I could look and not see…going through the emotions..not knowing what they mean…and it scared me so much that I just couldn’t budge. I might have stayed there forever if not for Your touch.

Oh, but You move me out of myself and into the fire..You move me…burning with love and with hope and desire..how You move me.

You go whistling in the dark making light of it, making light of it and I follow with my heart laughing all the way…Oh, because You move me…You get me dancing and You make me sing…You move me. Now I’m taking delight in every little thing” 

I am thankful that God loves us enough to move us. Yep, growing pains are called that for a reason. Growing is often painful. However, the results can be beautiful. I am grateful for our beautiful Heavenly Parent who continues to grow us into the image of Christ. The refining fire creates beauty after all of the impurities are burned off. And oh my goodness, we all have imperfections. 

I have a friend who often reminds me “Don’t let them steal your joy” when someone upsets me. I’m not sure about you, but sometimes I can do that, but (probably) most of the time I can’t. I pray for God’s grace and wisdom as I walk through this crazy thing called life. 

My ultimate desire is to draw closer to God and to become more Christ like and that requires going through the fire. 

DOG

I've often joked that there is a reason that DOG is GOD spelled backwards. But in all seriousness, all jokes aside......I do believe there is a reason that DOG is GOD spelled backwards.
Dogs love you more than themselves. Their love is unconditional. Dogs aren't born mean, just like people aren't born racists---it is taught.
There is nothing like coming home and being welcomed by a very happy dog. You may have been gone two minutes or 2 hours....what happiness!!!! They are SOOOOO happy to see you. They shower you with love and affection.
I don't know about you, but there are days that I ask God---"Hey, where are YOU?" God doesn't leave us! I get preoccupied with life ....being busy and I don't always make time for God. If God was a dog, the moment I show back up--I can imagine God being overjoyed--whole body wagging, kissing me all over my face (if you allow it--if you don't, your missing out :),  jumping up and down.
When you are with others (dogs or people)--how present are you? How much attention do you give? How much attention will you allow back? We have all been wounded haven't we? So we put up these protective walls. Yes, we may block SOME pain with our walls, but we are also blocking out a lot of love! We get hurt and we guard against it from then on...never being willing to ever risk our heart again and that includes with God.
So often people do things and then God gets the blame or backlash. A Christian acts like a jerk or does something unfathomable....then all of a sudden God is to blame and you never want anything to do with God again. God has to be so grieved!!! God is grieved by the person who wronged you and God is grieved that you have walked away.
I have gotten mad at God and I'm grateful that God has BIG shoulders and can handle my anger or even my walking away. God is always right there waiting--not with a big stick to punish me, but with arms open wide to love me and to help me heal.
Dogs love even when we aren't so good to them. I don't know how, but they do. I don't know how God still loves us when we aren't so good to God, but God continues to love us.
It doesn't matter what you've done---it doesn't matter how far you have run---there is nothing too bad that will keep God from loving you. If you are running or hiding---I pray you will stop and climb into the lap of the Almighty and allow unconditional love to be poured out all over you!

It has been years since I have been on here. I was encouraged to start back. Life has a way of creating u-turns or running you down a different path.
I hope to be more attentive to this and pray God gives me words. My life has always been unpredictable, but I know.....how am I different? Well I'm not--life IS unpredictable.
I have experienced wonderful highs and dreadful lows that made me question whether or not life was worth living. I must say, I am glad that I chose to keep living when I had those sort of times. I know that not everyone has been able to do that.
In the middle of those horrible times, we can't see past the pain. We can't see that there will ever be light that will shine in our dreaded darkness.
God has been so gracious, even when I haven't deserved GRACE.
We have never been promised an easy life. Have I been jealous of those who appeared to have the perfect life---YES! But I have learned, even those who appear to have a perfect life have their own demons. We only know what others want us to know. We all keep secrets. We all have battles in our minds.
I will never promise to have all of the answers--but I serve the ONE who does. The struggle is God always knows and we don't always know. What we have to learn to do is trust, and yes I realize that is not always easy.
I hope to bring you something weekly. Thank you for giving me another opportunity to express myself and my heart. You have a safe place to vent with me and I pray I share something that will give you hope. The world doesn't do a lot of that these days.
I pray we can find a place of love and support on this blogspot. God has blessed me--I want to give back.
I just wanted to say hello and pray to begin again.

Blessings

Trust

Regardless of how things appear, what your circumstances are ---Trust that God will show up because all you see isn't all there is. Just because you don't sense God or see God doesn't mean that God isn't there and at work. The wind blows and you can feel it---you can't see it, but you know it's effects. The blue skies may be visible on your radar, but there are blue skies somewhere nearby.
Hold on, Trust, God is at work!

My heart aches
I know my Lord will provide
so why do I doubt?
I hate my humanness,
my frailty
Lord calm my raging storms
Forgive my unbelief
You have proven Yourself over and over again
Yet I fret
why do You continue to love such a fallen world?
Thank You for Your blood that covers all of my sins
Maybe some doubt my love for You because of my questions
but my love for You is real
The baggage I drag behind me stirs the dust and often clouds my vision
Thank You for loving me in spite of myself

Mama YaYa